'Transformers: The Last Knight' REVIEW: It's the same Micheal Bay shtick over and over a

Hello and welcome to my first ever review on my website and it's 'Transformers: The Last Knight' the fifth Transformers film once again for the fifth time directed by the hack that is Michael Bay. If you liked the non-stop barrage of explosions and asinine dialogue the first four times, this movie should satisfy your needs, its got that.

If you've seen the last film 'Age of Extinction' that came out in 2014, then you know that in the last seen of that garbage of a film Optimus Prime leaves Earth to search for his makers and that's exactly what he does, or is it? If you want to know my thoughts on the first four films I'll just give it to you plain and simple:

Transformers (2007) grade B

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) grade B-

Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon (2011) grade B

Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014) grade F

So how is this new film? Does Michael Bay take the series to new heights or is it just the same thing again? You probably can tell already it's the latter. The film stars Mark Walhberg reprising his role as Cade Yeager, an inventor working alongside the remaining transformers in hiding while his daughter (Thank God! She's not in the film) is off to college. In the beginning he meets a young tomboy drifter named Izabella played by Isabela Moner (Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life) who claims she can fix anything, but you really don't see her do much fixing at all. Meanwhile Optimus Prime crash lands on what he thinks is his home planet, but it's actually Unicron. He meets Quintessa, a Cybertronian sorceress who plans of destroying Earth and obliterate man-kind as we know it. Quintessa hypnotises Optimus Prime to turn evil and that's this movie's hook to get our butts in the seats. Back on Earth they have found out that Unicron is coming to destroy Earth and have a few hours to stop it (Heard of it before, you know I have). Anthony Hopkins plays Sir Edmund Burton, an astronomer and historian who knows why Transformers repeatedly return to Earth. He gathers Cade Yager and Professor Viviane Wembly (played by Laura Haddock) as they are the key to saving the world.

Like its predecessors (with the exception of the fourth one) the CGI is impeccable. With almost everyone single one of these films I always find myself surprised at how detailed the mechanics are whenever they are transforming from vehicles to giant robots and vice versa. The major issue I have with these amazing effects however is that you never get a fantastic look at them as with typical Michael Bay fashion he chooses to simultaneously cut to every single angle of the action as simple as a robot punching another one in the face. The actions sequences that you do see very well are all just done in the overuse of slow-motion. It's just and excuse to lengthen its already bloated running time of 2 hours and 30 minutes. The story, just forget it. It's the same incoherent fluff you've seen before. This new film in the franchise introduces another McGuffin which is a staff of some sort that never get fully explained well at all that the main characters have to use to save the world. It's baffling of how much bullshit these screenwriters can make up as this series goes along. Honestly, there is not much to say.

There is a supposedly a romance between Mark and Laura's characters that doesn't 'click' in the slightest. Just because they are both a guy and a girl in a movie apparently means that they instantly have chemistry, which they don't. Alongside those two is Cogman, an autobot who is sociopathic and is the faithful butler to Sir Edmund. He helps Cade and Viviane on their journey to search for the staff. This autobot straddles the line to being an 'okay' character and being the 'Jar Jar Binks' of this movie. Sometimes he's funny, sometimes he's annoying as hell. Luckily they know when to use him for knowledge and such. For a movie that has the title 'Transformers', it again focuses way to much on the uninteresting human characters including the stereotypes that plagues every single one of these movies . The film also drops in some of the characters from previous installments such as Josh Duhamel, John Turturro and a 'blink and you miss it' shot of Shia LaBeouf. It's probably just for people who are fans of the franchise go 'I known him' and pats themselves on the back.

Overall, it's the same film we've seen five times in a row. However, this movie is a slight step up from the last one as I was not as bored out of my mind with this one than with the last one. It knows how to keep moving despite not really being engaging at all. These films assume that with each installment the stakes are higher than the last even though the stakes are always 'The End of the World', like how does it get higher than that. The performances are fine, even though you don't really care about the characters. Don't be fooled by the advertisements and posters because Optimus Prime is barely in this movie and has only goes bad for just a couple seconds and makes the same 'We are Awesome' speech again.

'Transformers: The Last Knight' gets a D-