'The Snowman' REVIEW: Michael Fassbender plays 'Sherlock Snores' in an incoherent, g

'The Snowman' is directed by Tomas Alfredson who is the director of the original Swedish version of Let the Right One In (2008) and Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011). I initially wasn't anticipating the movie at all, but the trailers had me intrigued by the film and it starred Michael Fassbender who I loved in films like the X-Men prequel films, 12 Years a Slave (2013) and the two Alien prequel films. It also stars Rebecca Ferguson who I also think is awesome as an actress in the most recent Mission: Impossible film and in Life (2017). This film clearly has the aspirations to be the next mystery classic such as films like Seven (1995) which was directed by David Fincher. But, I was wrong. The Snowman has the distinction of being one of the most dullest thrillers I've seen in a while.

The plot to this film is that there is a serial killer nicknamed 'The Snowman' because the murders only occur when snow falls and leaves a snowman nearby as a calling card and Harry Hole (played by Michael Fassbender), an elite crime squad's lead detective investigates the murders of these victims alongside Katrine Bratt (played by Rebecca Ferguson) and must stop the killer before the next snowfall. Seems like a straightforward mystery, right? You're dead wrong.

The most obvious aspect of this film I can praise are the performances. These two main leads are the only thing keeping this film afloat, but they can only do so much with the script that gives them little to nothing to do that's interesting in the least. Some parts of the film I'd say are very well shot with snowy landscapes and snowy mountaintops, but this perfectly encapsulates the direction of this film which is just 'plain'.

I can't think of enough praiseworthy things I can say about this film. While I don't think it's bad that this film wants to be straightforward, but it's just boring with how straightforward it is. The characters in this film aren't very compelling at all even though they are played by marvelous actors who should know better, but they try and make the monotonous dialogue work and it mostly fails. Michael Fassbender's characters is literally every damaged detective that we've seen in thrillers like this. He drinks, smokes and has a son that resents him, we've seen it all before. Val Kilmer even appears in this film and his dialogue is obviously dubbed to death. It's a film that's 2 hours long, but it feels like 4. I could predict the films resolution like some time through the film and there was just another hour or should I say 2 hours to go. There's just too much padding in this film It just seems like the screenwriter dropped the script and some scenes are out of order. Luckily this film knows when to end fast.

There's nothing much else to say. It's overlong, dull and predictable. The cast tries hard despite a terrible script. Don't see this film if you have nothing to do. I had forgotten everything about this film upon leaving the theater, but I wished I hadn't experienced it at all.

'The Snowman' gets a D-